i love her.

but i love as well the fact of belonging to some alternative group. even though i hate big groups which are supposed to have the same personality and aims. anyway, walking the streets of lisbon on that beautiful saturday afternoon i felt that the aims might be the same.

if i ever wanted to fight for any ideology it would be Harvey Milk's kind of fight.

just be and appear. is it difficult to be an openly lesbian doctor? shall i think about myself or about people who would maybe live better because of me just being open about this fact? it's obvious that i'm afraid. but maybe it's just being done now-stupid facebook quizzes, my deviant, and suddenly your colleagues who will afterwards be nothing else but people you work with and who gossip about you.

maybe i'm just waiting for a confrontation. to be honest, i was never discriminated because of sexual orientation. i guess it's easier to be bisexual and leave your friends some hope.

but who doesn't want to be a hero?

*my mood is not anguish but more of 'creative' but somehow i cannot change it...